The 27th path of the Qabalah runs between the two sephiroth Hod and Netzach. It is also represented by the Tower in tarot, and in Hebrew, "Path of Peh" (written as "פ") literally means "mouth."
In Lenormand, the Snake represents craving, demand, and desire. It can be thirst for knowledge, lust for power, and sexual desire...... Many desires are fun and even very healthy to follow. Other desires are better held in check because acting them out would cause harm to ourselves or others. The snake shed their skin to grow and remove parasites, which is often linked to "transformation", a need to free from old beliefs or patterns.
The Snake has these meanings altogether that reflect aspects and sentimental feelings for the medical field to me. In the Year of Snake, I hope to observe what the Snake brings to me, and the world around me in the coming year. Stay safe, stay peace.
只要台灣發生地震，就很容易出現看護衝去護住長輩，育嬰室護理師趕緊穩住嬰兒床這種新聞。從表面上看，讚頌這些故事似乎是理所當然的。但事實上，這些人只是竭盡全力滿足民眾和社區的需求。過年也無法休假的職業也是一樣的。
Whenever an earthquake occurs in Taiwan, you’ll find news of caregiver shields the elder patient, and nurses rush to protect newborn babies.
On its face, it seems natural to celebrate these stories. However, I noticed that the staff was going above and beyond to serve the needs of society and communities. The same applies to jobs that cannot enjoy a holiday even during the Chinese New Year.
當圍繞一項舉動的言論接近將一個職業神聖化，而不是承認人們是把符合自身利益的特質包裝成該職業的美德，加上社會風氣、輿論，而工作者的保護和支持系統從以前到現在都存在缺陷時，我們是在損害這個職業，同時也是在損害自己。
When the rhetoric surrounding an action borders on sacred language rather than acknowledging that people are packaging traits that are in their own self-interest as virtues of the profession, added up with stress from criticism, and support system and workplace safety are historically and contemporarily flawed, we do ourselves a disservice.
在一個大家認為高尚的職業或場所工作的員工更容易受剝削，這是因為在文化背景、社會風氣和使命感面前，倡導權益、充足的休息時間，和說出對工作內容有所不滿，都給人斤斤計較、自私、不知感恩的感覺。這一現象稱為「職業敬畏」。
Staff working in a profession or place that is considered inherently good are more vulnerable to exploitation because, in the context of socio-cultural background and the set of ideas, values, and assumptions staff have about themselves and the profession, advocating rights, sufficient rest time, and expressing dissatisfaction with work environment may seem petty, selfish, and ungrateful. This phenomenon is called "vocational awe".
那些具有創造性的、使命驅動的、高聲望的行業，經常利用從業者對自身工作的熱愛和使命感占他們的便宜。這是因為僱主們有一個心照不宣的假定：即使報酬和工作環境不怎麼好，員工也會做這項工作。
Creative, mission-driven and prestigious jobs often take advantage of workers’ love for what they do. Employers see poor treatment as more acceptable if the workers are thought to be passionate about what they do. This stems from bosses’ tacit assumptions that their employees would do the work even if they worked in an environment harmful to their health and weren’t paid fair enough.
職業敬畏也存在於所有依靠品牌力量、品牌形象來美化的工作領域，使得人們對從業人員的真實經歷並不了解也不關注。通常這些工作或頭銜只是講出來體面，但普遍工時很長、辛苦（先不論通勤時間和耗費體力），還要面對各種人事壓力和奇葩狀況。
Vocational awe can exist in any field that relies on the strength of its brand (and brand image) to romanticize, and people don’t really understand and also don’t care about the reality of workers’ experiences. These jobs often are characterized by long hours, and hard labour and have to face all kinds of interpersonal pressures and strange situations.
新冠病毒大流行期間，職業敬畏得到了全面展現。人們對教師說，他們在從事神聖的教育工作，但也告訴他們只能靠有限的資源湊合。醫護人員被認為必不可少，但他們往往得不到與工作中面臨的危險程度相符的報酬或保護措施。在讓人欽佩的行業裡，大家眼裡的高尚掩蓋了惡劣的工作條件，就像是給燒焦的蛋糕塗上糖霜。
During the pandemic, vocational awe was on full display from educators who were told that they were doing God’s work but also to make do with what they had. Healthcare professionals who were deemed essential yet often not given compensation or protection commensurate with the severity of their work. The perceived righteousness of honourable industries covered up poor conditions like frosting on a burned cake.
對醫生來說，不論如何都不會也無法放病人的健康危機不管。換句話來說，只要以生命和健康為要脅，似乎就可以對醫生提出幾乎任何要求。在醫學中心工作時就有這種感覺了，在健保中醫診所工作的情況又更是如此。可能還是有地方文化的差異嗎？每次聽在台北的中醫診所執業的人講起來就不一樣。
As for doctors, they will not and cannot ignore the health crisis of their patients under any circumstances. In other words, it seems that almost anything can be asked of a doctor as long as life and health are at stake. This is how I feel about my work, both in the medical centre and at a TCM clinic that accepts the NHI in Taichung, Taiwan. Could it be caused by local cultural differences? It’s like totally different stories I’ve heard from TCM doctors who practice in clinics in Taipei.
我也經歷過那種自嘲、自娛娛人、苦中作樂，說自己院畜，同時又以自己的忙碌為安心的時期。已經過了這麼多年，類似的網路插畫和故事還是一樣多，但我發現它們一點樂趣都沒有了。
I have gone through the time of wry self-deprecation, finding joy in misery, and at the same time taking comfort in my own busyness. After all these years, there are still the same number of similar comics and stories online, but I find them no longer interesting.
現在有更多管道，例如Threads，可以為自己行業的辛苦發聲，但我覺得除了發洩、引起同仇敵愾的效果，實際上心酸還是只有相同處境的人能理解，對面臨的困境幫助不大。你真正生氣的人並不會看到這些，看到了也不會覺得是在說自己，更不會就此改變作法，可怕的劇情還是輪迴上演。
Now there are more platforms, such as Threads, that can help people speak out about the hardships of their industry, but I think apart from venting and arousing shared bitterness and hatred, the pain can only be understood by people in the same situation, and it is not very helpful. The person who you’re really angry with will not see your posts. Even if they see them, they probably won’t think it’s directed at him or her, and won’t change their behaviour. The same scary things happen over and over again like time loops.
從業者不是為錢工作的觀念在各種旨在「幫助他人」的行業相當普遍，教育也是、醫療也是，我想現在各種形式的療癒師也是吧？
The idea that “work for something other than money” is also pervasive in industries that are geared toward helping people, such as education, such as medicine.
讓工作者覺得應該為身在這個行業而心存感激，然後僱主（或客戶）利用從業者的感恩心態（或使命感），以及「還有很多樂意取代我們的人」這種老生常談，方便很快的演變成了隨便，為他們只願意給付低於工作者應得的費用和不尊重的行為作辯護。
The industry is set up to make workers feel like they should be grateful just to be here. Employers (Or clients) then rely on workers’ indebtedness (a belief that the job is a calling) and the proverbial line of people out the door who would happily take their places to justify paying them less than they deserve and as an excuse for disrespectful behaviour.
最近我常回想起在北醫 (我的第一個大學) 讀書的日子，那時候還是憂鬱時好時壞，飲食失調很痛苦 (覺得自己不配吃東西，進食對我來說是一種非常羞恥的行為，而飢餓只會加劇我內心的羞恥感)。有一次跟朋友聊過：我對未來的擔憂就是自己「沒有用」，不被需要，也就是說我根本不應該存在。
Recently, I often think back to the days when I was studying at TMU (my first university). At that time, I suffered from depressive mood and eating disorder (I felt that I was not allowed to eat, and eating became very shameful thing for me, and hunger only exacerbated the shame in me). I once talked about this with a friend: my biggest worry about the future is being “useless” and not needed, which means that I should not exist at all.
他說，他最想要的就是「不被世界需要」，因為這樣就不會有人期待他去做什麼，而他想做什麼都可以去做。
He said that what he wanted most was "being not needed in the world", because then no one would expect him to do anything and he could do whatever he wanted.
現在我完全跟他想法一樣了，突然回頭發現這個差異覺得很奇妙，以前從來沒有想過能理解這樣的心態。但現在我知道了，我只是在尋求一個「留在這裡」的認可，出於恐懼，我試圖滿足那些永遠不會滿足的人。而現在可以不需要這樣了。
Now I have exactly the same idea as him. Suddenly looking back, I find this difference funny. I never thought I could understand this before. But now I know that I was just seeking approval to "stay here," and out of fear, I’ve been fooled trying to satisfy people who could never be satisfied. Now it doesn’t matter to me anymore.
𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃 𓂃𓂃𓂃 . 𓂃𓂃 𓂃𓂃𓂃𓂃 . 𓂃𓂃
牽涉眾人的事，如果只有少數人在靠善良和自身的信念在撐，永遠就只有這些人受傷，最後他們為了保護自己，不是變成跟其他人一樣，就是自己走上另一條不同的路。
「那你槓麻還待在這裡」「在這裡工作就是這樣」「要感恩你有這份工作」「其他人都沒事就你有事」......諸如此類的話聽了好多。有一次Grand Round 醫院院長在台上跟所有人說，你們就是這樣說醫院abuse你們，所以我們才要發展AI，以後我們只需要AI，不需要你們當院畜，你們就不會有這些抱怨了。
我沒有否定至今為止醫療技術所達到的境界，人們也是付出了許多代價才走到這裡的，真的很厲害。但我總覺得，該是時候轉變成另一種完全不同的型態了，但它卻始終原因不明的卡在一個不上不下的狀態。一直在微恙、小病與大病的生存線載浮載沉，令人厭煩。救一個人是靠著消耗其他的生命去完成的。救起來了然後呢？不舒服了處理了然後呢？這次損壞可以處理，那下一次再損壞也一樣可以好起來是嗎？因為我們有更新更厲害的武器可以擊敗病痛，是這樣嗎？
病人們來的主訴，每個時期都會集體發生同樣的病痛，而且有些並不是感冒、腹瀉這種可以用病菌傳染來解釋的東西。這陣子是集體髖痛，下一陣子是心臟的地方痛痛的，又一陣子大家的脖子都在痛，又一陣子集體肩膀痛，集體暈暈的......。我跟室友A說，我覺得這裡的人給我一種好像在怕什麼的感覺，只是各自用不同的病痛和症狀來看醫生了。
「你想太多了。」
「你想太多了。」
「你想太多了。」
不想被說只會抱怨，所以我想一定要做點什麼去改變。既然是我自己的問題，就不要怪別人，不要期望有人會救你，要先處理我自己。
我本來以為把情緒關閉應該就不會這麼多干擾了，現在才發現把情緒關掉之後，什麼都感覺不到了，也失去了前進的動力。
我跟室友A說現在的情況其實對我來說是很恐怖的，「你知道鋼琴家無法彈鋼琴是什麼心情嗎？」然後果然還是被笑說我想得太嚴重了。
不過藉由這件事，我發現還好人是可以用慣性繼續運作的，只要最低限度地維持日常的每一道程序就可以繼續過下去。我還沒有想出來那個新的醫療狀態是什麼樣子，但我希望能看見那樣的未來變成現實，也希望自己對從事這份工作的熱情能夠恢復。
𓂃𓇬𓈒 𓈒𓏸𓈒𓂂𓏸
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