眼前是一道潺潺溪流,在陰影裡溪水是半透明的橄欖石色,既澄澈又混濁。它湍急的沖刷在滿是黑色尖石的河床和河岸上,發出咕嚕咕嚕的聲音。 有一隻手,手指併攏、掌面朝上,穿入水中約兩個指節深。 「你只要把水面弄平整就行了。」一個聲音說。 「那怎麼可能?」我下意識的回應,好像突然想起什麼事一樣猛然抬頭,似乎又在找尋聲音的來源。 「你現在想做的就是這樣的事,所以你才會痛苦。」 手又抽出於水面之上。而溪水依舊潺潺的流著,對於手是否在它之內還是之外,皆無動於衷,無關緊要。 手移出水面之後,溪流還是原來的溪流,手還是原來的手,彼此沒有什麼好糾纏的,彷彿一切從未發生過。 Before me was a babbling brook. In the shadows, the stream held a translucent peridot colour, translucent yet murky in the shade. It rushed swiftly over the riverbed and banks strewn with black, sharp stones, making a gurgling sound. Then I saw an outstretched, cupped palm dip its finger tips in the water. “All you want to do is level the water,” a voice said. “How is that possible?” I responded reflexively, suddenly looking up as if I had just remembered something, as if searching for the source of the sound. “That's what you're trying to do right now, and that's why you're in pain.” The hand pulled out of the water again. The stream continued to flow gently, unmoved and unaffected; it doesn...
在少了醫學背景知識的狀況下,一個人會如何主觀的「認為」(或不認為)自己生病了?我對此感到很好奇。一個人是如何「認出」自己進入了失序的狀態? / 前幾天剛讀完波蘭作家Stanislaw Lem的科幻小說《索拉力星》。萊姆有四本小說的主題是地球太空船接觸外星球,遇見外星「生物」,分別是《Eden》、《Fiasco》、《Invincible》與《Solaris》,可以說都是挫敗的故事,各有不同的方式與原因。如果在挫敗的原因中強調缺乏了解、無法溝通等等,那麼《索拉力星》把了解與溝通的問題帶到更深的核心,因為在索拉力星的海洋裡,一直蒙著一層無法以「理」破解的紗。人類要溝通的外星生物竟是深藏在人內心之自我的一部份。科學家們雖然拚命想以理性思維去解讀現象與生命型態,扯後腿的卻是每個人自己內心深處、理性之光無法找到的黑暗。 我們有多麼了解自己,我們如何與自己溝通?《索拉力星》給人類提出了一個問題:如果不能先了解自己的內在世界,我們能夠真正了解外在宇宙嗎? 𓍯𓂃 ֶָ˖ ࣪⊹ 飲食失序(eating disorder)經常被視為是一種生活狀態(lifestyle)的選擇,事實上卻是多重成因且可能致命的疾病,這些疾病會導致個人受到飲食行為的高度困擾。對食物、體重、體型高度執迷也是飲食失序的警訊,常見的類型有厭食症、暴食症以及嗜食症。這些疾病可能造成患者低血壓、體溫過低、電解質失衡、心律不整、喉嚨受損、腸胃功能損壞、骨質疏鬆、牙齒腐蝕、脫水、腦部受損等,甚至可導致多重器官衰竭而死亡。 Eating disorders are often viewed as a lifestyle choice, but they are in fact multi-faceted and potentially fatal illnesses that cause significant distress in an individual's eating behaviour. An obsession with food, weight, and body shape is also a warning sign of an eating disorder. Common types include anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating disorde...